im sorry for the past

For the past few months..I've been mourning..
I felt utmost guilt which i cant trun back to repair the damage..
I've truly learn my lesson..
the guilt stays in me forever..i knew it would...
I never been such person yet i did it...
the oni thing i know is feel the guilt but i duno what i can do than that...

do u al know how it felt when u r doing sth very wrong until u r nt able to forgive urself??
i have been hating myself and duno what is the best next step i should move on to...

i've stuck for long..finally my god bro Fai hit me hard..by saying..if u still wanna continue like this it's up to u..but u gonna let those whom cared n loves u to be very heartbroken and disapointed..it's no point looking bcak as those ppl already moved on and do not cared about u at all..why still wanna seek for them?

He is right..my lil sis is very worried abt me
my parents and those frens whom cared...
i will try my best to stand up...
the damage n impact hit me real hard this time..
i need time...

100 truths..Taggies~by my beloved Tweetie...akakazzz

My lil sis told me that I've ben put my blog blank for a long time ..it's time to live it up....
So...as what i'd promised....Here i go...

1. real name : Ooi Seok Theng
2. nickname(s) : Stooi, Yvonne, Theng, Sotong, Stooi-ted, Stooi-Duno, "the blur ones", "the stim-ones"..Mango...Dumbo and so on and on...lots more..swt~!!
3. age : 22++ .. im old but stil doing taggies..swt bo??
4. horoscope : The Fish..
5. gender : What u think?? girl la of cos~!
6. elementary : WT...?
7. primary school : I got two..yeah..busy girl is like dat..MGS(Methodist Girls School) and SKSJ I.. (Sek. Keb. Sakit Jiwa I)
8. secondary school :Two also...boh pien..im too gatai d...CBW(SMK Convent B'worth) & DOB..not date of birth larrhhh..SMK Dato Onn
9. college : I'm nt in college larrhh..uni...UTAR
10. hair color : The hair that lack of nutrition color..Yups..tat's the one..
11. hair length : shoulder length..definetly longer than mia sista~! >.<..she LCLY...I more LC than her...muahaha
12. loud or quiet : Both. When with ppl im loud..when im alone at room..I'm totally freak~!! LoL...to equilvalize myself werttt..
13. sweats or jeans : Jeans. Follow LeeHom's fav
14. Phone or camera : 2-in-1 pls...I have fon with camera funtion..Yorr...mus be more update if da tech larrhh..
15. health freak : Definately nt..if i were..i wont be FAT and crackers in my beloved room anymore
6. Drink or Smoke : Tried both..Nyek nyek nyek..
17. do you have a crush on someone : used to...very deeply
18. eat or drink : stupid Q~!! definatey both wertt..Takkan u dowan eat since u drink mehh? WTH...
19. piercings : oni one at each side of my ears
20. tattoos : Wanna have one on the shoulder...
21. social or anti - social : I was a social-rep before..what u think?? But now got less on socialize d..
22. righty or lefty : Righty.
23. first piercings : when im 5 o 6...during kindergarten times
24. first relationship : when i was 20.
25. first best friend : m kindy fren, Wan Nee..sumhow i stil rmb her name..but after kindy we din keep in touch adi
26. first award :during primary...abt wat i dun rmb
27. first kiss : to first love..a memorable ones!
28. first pet : I dun have pet..but when my sis mention abt Whiskey reminds me of sth but cant rmb...seems like i have short term memory lost....
29. first big vacation: S'pore..whn im 5~!! I cant rili rmb..but my family members were thr..swet
30. first love at first sight : yeah i believe..mine was! LoL
31. first big birthday : nt sure..but i rmb i do get a baby doll n oso a cute white bear from uncle Hee.
32. first surgery : a year plus ago.. minor ones
33. first sport you joined : Badminton..influenced by Dia Dia
34. Orange or apple juice : Both. I love fruits
35. rock or rap : Depends.
36. country or screamo : Country.
37. NSYNC or backstreet boys : Can i pick Westlife??
38. Britney spears or Christina Aguilera : Britney more.
39. night or day :recenlt i hate the nights
40. sun or moon : Duno larhh stupid Q...but since asked...erm.. I prefer sun..let me noe a new brand day is here =)
41.TV or internet : TV~!! I ove TV!! but i need internet oso larhh..Both lohhh
42. Playstation or Xbox :PS cos i never touch Xbox
43. kiss or hug : Both.
44. Iguana or turtle : I used to plan to have both b4...used to plan..
45. Spider or bee : Neither..i ahte insects
46. fall or spring : spring!
47. lime wire or iTunes : i used Lime larhh..i dun rili dl larhh..my sources r my beloved uni frens..LoL
48. soccer or baseball : soccer a lil...thanks to my ex
49. eating : all the time
50. drinking : same too
51. excitement level : Depends.
52. I'm about to : to stop this taggie...damn long...)*^*^$^&!@!
53. listening to : now?? from my sis bloggie..by jewelry duno the name
54. plan for today : study n exp report but i din touch anything yet n now is 7+ pm adi!!
55. waiting for : my mood to come for study
56. Energy Level : sleepy right now.
57. thinking of someone: yeah..
58. want kids : not sure..fun to play wth but to handle..im nt the type
59. want to get married : yeshh to the secure ones
60. when: somone that wont fool my feelings
61. How many kids do you want : like my frens said..one boy one girl the perfect ones
62. Any name on the mind: Joey..i love the name
63. Where you want to go the most right now : beach n cameron highland..will be going this sun..finally!!!
64. What do you want the most: not to think too much n study for the best
65. Mellow future or wild: nt sure ..im uncertain
66. Something you would never try: eat shit
67. which is the better in the boy/girl you like(in the future): duno
68. Lips or Eyes: eyes
69. Romantic or Funny: Both is the perfect one...recentky i found some1 is like tat..
70. Shorter or Taller: Taller for sure.
71. Protective or Caring?: Both...and again tat guy is like tat to my opinion....gosh...
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: Both...haih but who is so perfect worr rite?
73. Nice Stomach or Nice Arms : Arms..mkes me feel secure.
74. Sensitive or Loud: Sensitive pls..but nt extremely sensitive of cos!
75. Hook-up or Relationship: Neither now..
76. Trouble Maker or Hesitant: Im a Trouble Maker
77. Muscular or normal: Both oso can
78. Kissed a stranger: yeshh..babies..they r too cute already.
79. Broken a bone: Not yet. *touch wood touch wood!
80. Lost glasses or contacts: I dun have to wear derhh
81. Ran away from home : never but wish to try...for the fun of it
82. Held a gun/knife for self defense: I used to have pen-knife in bag..during high-sch
83. Killed somebody: amithabha
84. Broken some one's heart: yups...i was too naive back then...but truely guilty n sorry til now
85. Had your heart broken: yeah..broken till there's no way to join them back
86. Been arrested: Yeah..lied to my parents that I wont play 'tikan' at the end stil go..so gt arrested..swt...ginna ma tat time..std 3 lerrhh
87. Cried when someone died: Of cos...im full wit emotions lehh
88. Liked a friend more than a friend: YES.
89. Do you believe in Yourself: sometimes
90. Do you believe in Miracles: yeah altho til now i stil wish there is miracles yet nth comes
91. Do you believe in Hell : gues so...duno actually
92. Do you believe in Heaven: yea kua
93. When do you want to die: when all the things i wana do is done..and satisfied..lol
94. Do you believe in the Tooth Fairy:..Lol.this reminds me of Transformers I
95. Kiss on the first date: Nope.
96. Do you believe in Angels: yeahkua...
97. Is there 1 person you want to be with right now?: umph...no longer wanna think...
98. Are you seriously happy with where you're in life now: nit rrili..my life is so imperfect from what i panned.
99. Do you believe in God: Yes.
100. Post as 100 truths and tag: nobody..it' too long larhh.do til i headache

result is out today...

gosh i nvr expect this bad i will get..

full of disappoinment....


Stooi from now on..you should know what is ur priority..
if you stil don't know..
it's ur own loss...

the future is in ur own hand...
no ones can ever help you if you are continues like this...

work harder Stooi!!!

Come Back To Me - Utada Hikaru

Come Back To Me...



The rain falls on my windows
And the coldness runs through my soul
And the rain falls (rain falls)
Oh, the rain falls (rain falls)
I don't want to be alone
I wish that I could photoshop all
Our bad memories 'cause the
Flashbacks (flashbacks)
Oh, the flashbacks (flashbacks)
Won't leave me alone
If you come back to me
I'll be all that you need
Baby, come back to me
Let me make up for what happened in the past
(come back)Baby, come back to me
(come back)I'll be everything you need
(come back)Baby, come back to me
(come back)For you're (one in a million [come back])
Baby, come back to me (come back)
I'll be everything you need (come back)
Baby, come back to me (come back)
You're one in a million (one in a million)
Lower East Side of Manhattan
She goes shopping for new clothes
And she buys this (buy this)
And she buys that (buys that)
Just leave her alone
I wish that he would listen to her
Side of the storyIt isn't that bad (that bad)
It isn't that bad (that bad)
And she's wiser for it now
I admit I cheated (admit I cheated)
Don't know why I did it (why I did it)
But I do regret it (do regret it)
Nothing I can do or say can change the past
(come back)Baby, come back to me (come back)
I'll be everything you need (come back)
Baby, come back to me (come back)
For you're (one in a million [come back])
Baby, come back to me (come back)
I'll be everything you need (come back)
Baby come back to me (come back)
You're one in a million (one in a million)
Everything I ever did
Heaven knows I'm sorry, babe
I was too young to see
You were always there for me
And my curiosity
Got the better of me
Baby, take it easy on me
Anything from A to Z
Call me what you want to, babe
I open my heart to thee
You are my priority
Can't you see you punished me
More than enough already
Baby, take it easy on me
Baby, take it easy on me
Baby, come back to me
Baby, come back to me (come back)
Baby, come back to me (come back)
I'll be everything you need (come back)
Baby, come back to me (come back)
For you're (one in a million [come back])
Baby, come back to me (come back)
I'll be everything you need (come back)
Baby, come back to me (come back)
You're one in a million (one in a million) (come back)
Baby, come back to me (come back)
I'll be everything you need (come back)
Baby, come back to me (come back)
For you're (one in a million [come back])
Baby, come back to me (come back)
I'll be everything you need (come back)
Baby, come back to me (come back)
You're one in a million (one in a million)

La la la laLa la la la la laLa la la la la laLa la la

when is this gonna end?

where are you?
that's what always kept haunting my mind..
when will this stop and we are able to gossip again?
it has been awhile though..
when isit gonna be over?
aren't u tired too?
or u never bothered anyway?

gosh..i truely missed you...
esp talking to you..

how have you been up to my dear?
hope everything is doing great and fine to u..

Packed Weekends...

Gosh the weekends was tiring..two events in the weekends...

On saturday is the Wesak Day..

as usual..at 6.00 a.m., help mum to sell vege food...then at evening..on duty as VAD (Volunteer Aid Department) in Pg..

Too see more pictures.. pls go to my facebook

Next, on Sunday...

definately everyones is very busy on this task..

Yup Mothers' Day...

This time..we go to Subway..

my first time go there...nothing much there..just bread those..an good reco thr?

we kinda feel bored of makan-ing those heavy food..

and mum like to go Subway...she says healthy food..

Hahahha..so there we go~!

at night..as usual...we celebrated with a cake...

hehehe...

Mummy, I love youuu~!!

Always...

Thanks for everything Miiii~~!~!!!

Muahhhh

MERDEKA~!!!

Yay~!!! Finally...
I've finished my finals...

WooHooo~~!!! 3 weeks holiday from now..
Hmm..How do I gonna spend tis 3 weeks? any suggestion?

definately..
- meeting my dear perkakas dapursss
- spend few days to wake up late...hope can be like way fang, my hse mate..she cant sleep at 10 pm wake up at 4 pm...fuiyooo..*salute*
- erm...lie on the couch... n rot
- i wanna go swimming..since i have swim suit d...Heee
- i wanna EAT...yes..definately...FOOD...esp after browse through mail send by erlynda...I think i'm heading to taman sentosa...anyone joining?? Hehehe... sun pian can go my new hse see see my room has been painted o not...Hyek Hyek Hyek!!
-what else uh.. oh..shopping... Yes!! definatly that one..been long time din shop d...
- buy new cosmetic... Yup..my cosmetic hampir habis n some adi pass 6 months d... it's time to change...
- ooo..yahhh...my eyebrows...i wanna make-over it...since it's still a virgin.... >.<
- not to forget...CLUBBING... will go with Jonathan n also Daniel, Kong & Tyan...(tat's the plan la..)...Can't wait for first time to club.again...my fellow frens...who wanna join? come come...the more the merrier.. =D
- Yes!! ;last one..visit my god bro at kl..plan go genting n jalan-jalan cari makan...i mean rili jalan type...



okla..i guess....i think that's all for now...
if there's anything to add on...
pls comment....thanks


hehehhe...
i wish i can fill my hols with the utmost excitement!!!



YeeeHaaa~!!!!

Release bit bit...

"Let go of something that meant the world to you, if you hold too tight, it will eventually go away"

unexpected event..

i walked to tesco alone today..
to ur info, tesco is very near to my new hse whr im staying in kampar..
as recently i've been like a dead fish hence,i decided to walk to tesco in the morning...
i tried many ways to get into myself back...i tot shopping mayb help me to ease the stress n pain im facing lately...

shits happen...
when i was queue-ing at the weighing counter, i was looking around since it's nt my turn yet..
in front of me there were a few old aunties n uncles were so beh syok abt the jacob cracker that is sold very cheap today cos they bought it las night...swt...
and i saw a guy was walking to the counter too..(biasa larr kan??)
then this guy, he queue behind me..He smiled at me..so i replied..
i tot it is normal..UNTIL...he started to whispered at my ears;"Hey girl, you have big boobs~!!"
he was speaking in cantonese..
i was shocked!!!..
my facial expression changed...the lady at the counter felt that sth wrong was hapening but she aint know what's rili happen as she is a malay lady.
I aint know what i sud do...
after get all my stuff weighed..
i left the counter and head to the egg section and take the eggs and then i saw that guy again..was searching for something...then he saw me and come into the egg section...
i was scare to death...so then i assume myself heard wrongly just now and so co-incident that he wanna buy eggs too... so i quickly choose the egg and went off to the mee section....
AGAIN, this fellow is at the section with me..and stay close....

i duno what i sud do...seriously..
i planned to call..
but i duno who sud i be calling...
the person i usually call, has been blacklisted...
i felt numb and lonely suddenly...
i know i have to save myself..
so i make few rounds to few section and i gues that guy notice..so whenever i go..he will be quite close to me..

i quickly pay at the counter and walk back home..
the last time i saw him was he is still paying at the counter...
after come out from tesco i stop at u-city..a food restorant..
to check if that guy is still following me...
after 10 minutes, i din see his existance...

i walk back home....
SAFELY....

gosh..tis never happend to me...
so scary...
i always thought..
haih..it's ok wan la go alone...
hmm..no more...


when i felt the helpless feeling when u r alone,...
it is realy bad...

gosh whenevr i think abt that...
i need a warm hug...
suddenly i feel the world ou there w/out anyone u know really mayb so creepy...

yeah i know, mayb certain of u may think that stooi is nt independent enough...
well, i admit!


girls, please don't go out alone!